When growing up, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a phone. When I was younger, I would use my parent's phones or even my grandparent's phones just so I could get on social media. I wasn’t even allowed to have an Instagram account but I would also try to sneak and do it. I thought it was the best thing ever to be able to connect with people behind a screen. I begged my mom for an iPod touch when they came out. Once I got it, I was instantly attached to it and couldn’t stay off it. That was the catalyst for a toxic relationship that I have with social media today. When this assignment was introduced to us, I had already felt totally defeated and like it would’ve been an impossible thing to accomplish. But I’m ready to keep an open mind and try so that I can fully be made aware of the impact that social media has had on not only my mental state but my life as a whole.
My social media represents who I am partially but not fully. Specifically with Instagram, if you went on my page I would probably be a mystery to the outside eye. I only have one picture and even in that picture, it could potentially come off as being cocky or full of myself. But I also have Instagram highlights which encapsulate who I am as a person. They are filled with videos that show what I do which is dance, how family & friend-oriented I am, and how I like to have fun. But I’ve always felt like I couldn’t present myself on my Instagram as I would in person. I’ve also felt like it was about how good I like instead of making posts that represent me in the most authentic way. I’m a dancer but I’ve never felt comfortable enough to post dance videos or post anything other than me presenting myself in a way that I think is most pleasing to the eye. I’m very confident in who I am as a dancer in the outside-dance world but when it comes to posting, I instantly begin to overthink and question if it’s “Instagram worthy.” This is why my social media doesn’t fully represent who I am because dance is a huge part of who I am and there isn’t one video of me showcasing my craft.
I think that personally, I’m much more comfortable talking to people from behind a screen. Because I feel like when I’m not in front of someone, I could tweak what I say and I feel like I have much more control over how something may come off. When I’m talking to someone in person who I may not be super comfortable with or I’m meeting them for the first time, I tend to overthink everything that I say because I’ve gotten so used
to the feeling of constantly talking to people behind a screen. It’s not that I don’t know how to talk to people and that I’m super introverted, but I do realize that I get in my head a lot more when doing so. It’s also made me feel like I sometimes have to censor who I am instead of being authentically me at all times. This week, I’m honestly not expecting the best results because social media is so embedded into my routine and lifestyle. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, I’m usually on social media at some point in my day. I will try to stay positive throughout it all.
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